Sad Time

12/12/2012

4 Comments

 
Picture
Taking Mam for a paddle on Horton beach, Gower
I have just returned from Wales with my wife and son. We had a busy time, though hardly a joyous one. We travelled down on Friday evening and due to an error on my part (dum-di-dum!), we didn't reach the hotel we were staying at until 3.30am. My wife, who regards her daily seven hours of sleep as sacrosanct, was not amused, and I was quite deservedly  in the dog-house for a while. However, because of the nature of our trip - my mother's funeral -  I did get early parole.

It is a very odd thing to realise that I am now parentless. While at least one of our parents is still here with us, they remain a buffer between us and our own inevitable demise. For me now, those two individuals who were always there, the bedrock of our whole existence when young, are both gone. I was always the youngest boy in my year at school; as a teenager I tended to mix with a group of friends who were older than me, and for years afterwards most of my acquaintances were often a year or two ahead of me in age. It is therefore an odd sensation to be not only parentless, but at the senior end of things.

My father died before he should have done almost two decades ago. However, Mam continued bravely on. She had a long, often sad and lonely widowhood.  Funerals, particularly Welsh ones, are often cited in literature and drama for their displays of piety and hypocrisy. And having just returned from her funeral, I retain some very strong feelings about the way she was undeservedly isolated and neglected in some quarters over many years.

(Hopefully my smiley face will be restored again somewhat by the next time I write this blog!)

 


Comments

12/12/2012 13:34

Yes, very sad time you've had Martin. My father died in 1977, and my mother died in 1999, and it takes a little while to realise you;re an orphan. I don't know if you;re religious, but I must say with my mother, she had a lot of illnesses, and I was consoled by the thought that she was not suffering, and weird 'supernatural' things happened just afterwards - I like to think it was her way of saying she was still there, in some other form. I'm sure your mother is there too, looking out for you and your family, and no longer suffering pain or physical discomfort. All the best, and a very good blog as always

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John Oldham
14/12/2012 12:42

I sincerely commiserate your loss, Martin, and give all best wishes to you and your family.After my parents died in 2008 and 2010, I felt quite alone, but eventually you just get on with things. What surprised me afterwards was how often they joined me in my dreams, helping me out in adventures or rather more mundane things. I don't see this as anything supernatural, but just telling me how much they meant.

I loved your book. I don't know if this is a compliment to you or not, but in my imagination, you were Mr Hart.

Take strength, and I hope you can have a good Christmas with the family.

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15/12/2012 04:19

Thank you John. The night after she died (I'd been awake almost continuously for about 36 hours by then and anticipated a disturbed night) I had possibly the most lovely peaceful sleep I can ever recall. I actually woke up with a smile on my face - though have no recollection of any dreams.

Mr Hart! Your'e the first! LOL! Several readers have asked if I'm Jim Latimer. I always tell people that I'm actually everyone in the book - in my imagination when I write at least!

Thanks for reading N & H John, I really appreciate it. I know it's a nuisance but if you could bear it leaving a brief review on Amazon saying why you liked the book would be invaluable. The book hasn't had any formal reviews or plugs so word of mouth and reader reviews are vital to its success. Unfortunately, there has been a lot of bad publicity about the manipulation of reviews on Amazon and the internet, so people tend not to believe them very readily - which is bad for everyone!

We're going to batten down the hatches and take it easy over the Christmas period. My son, Tom has bought a house with his lovely girlfriend nearby and we'll be seeing him and some of the family over the holidays.

Here's wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy and Prosperous New Year!

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17/12/2012 05:50

Just read this. Offer sympathy. I have been estranged from my parents for many many years (Not a story for public consumption) - only found out by accident when my father died and was able to visit the lovely Marie Curie home that was his final place. The staff there didn't know he had a daughter! I was not invited to the funeral, nor to the stone setting later. I presume my mother is dead, again, I won't ever know for sure. That you had a relationship with your mother, and attended her funeral - what is called, inadequately 'closure' must have been, albeit devastating, a release. I am sorry if you feel she was neglected towards the end of her life - old age is not for cissies; I think, contemplating my own future, that once my husband is no longer here, it will only be half a life anyway. Oh dear. Didn't mean to be sad. Hope Christmas and all its family joys compensate for the loss.

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